


after vampire academy last sacrifice

by tessa99



Category: Vampire Academy & Related Fandoms, Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:26:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tessa99/pseuds/tessa99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens after Lissa became Queen? Will Rose and Dimitri stay together? What happened in his life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

Dimitri and I met roughly a year ago. A lot of things happened that year, some were fine, but some weren't. We had to go through a lot of things. Our band is special, maybe the things that happened have made our band even more special.  
Dimitri was the one who found Lissa and me in Portland. Lissa and I ran away because she was afraid and something was following her. We came back to the academy and because of Dimitri was I able to stay. We fell in love, but we were denying it. It was Victor Dashkov who saw the hidden love, which he used against us. He kidnapped Lissa, because he wanted her to heal him. He putted a love charm between me and Dimitri, so our relationship became even more complicated.  
A few months later we noticed that Strigoi were attacking the royal Moroi. My friend Mason went after them with two friends and when I noticed that, I went after him, with Christian, Lissa's boyfriend. We found the strigoi and they killed Mason. I killed the strigoi, but I felt very guilty.  
A few weeks later were the strigoi attacking the academy. Dimitri and I finally stopped denying our love while they attacked the accademy. Dimitri was forced to turn into a strigoi a few moments after we stopped denying our love.  
I followed him. I loved him too much to accept he was dead. I knew he would want someone to kill him, now he was a strigoi. I hesitated, when I found him. He kidnapped me and wanted me to turn also into a strigoi. He used my love for him, but somewhere, I know he still loved me. He leaved to Siberia, just to protect me. I am sure he wouldn't have killed me.  
I was able to break free and after a heavy fight I thought I had killed him. My heart broke, but soon I knew he was still a strigoi. I went back to the academy when I heard there was a little chance he could be returned into a dhampir. We succeed to bring him back, but he avoided me and our love.  
The moroi Queen was killed a few days later. I was suspected to have killed her and I came into jail. My friends were able to took me out of jail, and I flew with Dimitri. We had a difficult task. We had to find the second Dragomir, so Lissa would have a seat in the government. To earn time, I told Adrian to nominate Lissa for the Queen return. We found Lissa's sister, and the true murderer of the Queen. Lissa became Queen, everyone believed Dimitri was a dhampir again and I was free. II am Lissa's guardian and Dimitri is Christians guardian, so Dimitri and I finally can be together. Finally!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic I actually write. I hope it'll be good :)  
> I try to update every week, or maybe every two weeks, but I'll have to wait for someone who will check my misspellings.  
> If you have any ideas for the story, if you liked, or disliked, something in the story, please comment :)


	2. Chapter 1

I was already awake for an hour. Dimitri and I have an own apartment at Court, near to Lissa's and Christians. I stayed in the bed, because I didn't want to wake up Dimitri. He still sleeps very light, even at Court, ready to protect others for against potential attackers. I heard Dimitri wake up after a few minutes. I nestled myself against him and I felt him relax.  
Sometimes I'm still afraid that he will break up again. I am afraid that he will think it's unforgivable what happened while he was a strigoi, especially what happened in Siberia. Way to fast did we had to wake up.  
I got dressed and went to Lissa. Today is our first day at Lehigh. She says she isn’t nervous, but I don’t believe that. I don’t need the bond to see how she feels. I know how much work she has now she is the queen and also wants to study. I know she wants to do everything the best she can do. Actually is that stress my fault. I told our friends to nominate her. That’s why she is the queen now.  
Lissa chose to study beside her tasks as queen. She chose a political study, which hopefully can help her with her own tasks. Since I am her guardian, I have to protect her and follow the same subjects. I don’t expect troubles, but you can’t be too careful.  
We saw Eddie in the car. Since Lissa always needs at least two guardians around her, Eddie is her second guardian. They needed someone with the same age and someone she already trusted.  
It took an hour to arrive at Lehigh. It looked like you would expect. It was a big and old building. On the inside did it look a lot more modern. Still big, but it looked much opener and much pleasant. Soon we sat in the lecture room.  
I saw a lot people looking to us. Lissa looks like a human super model, with her tiny moroi looks and people can see that we came from another place. Besides that, she has a natural charisma, what her spirit powers feeds.  
The first lesson started. However I took notes, but I think it’s pretty boring. I am a fighter, a physical fighter. I don’t care much about debating and fights with words. We went home after a few hours. Lissa asked the chauffeur to go to the shopping center. She told us she wanted to buy something for Christian. We walked through the whole shopping center, when Lissa saw a little book shop. While Lissa was searching for a present for Christian, I watched what happened in the store. I noticed who came in and who leaved the store. I faked interest for the books in the shop but saw a familiar book between the traffic books. 100 world places. I opened it, not believing it was the same book. It was, and I was back in the library in Rubysville. I sat there again with Dimitri, daydreaming about the places we saw on the pages. I sat there, daydreaming about the impossible, because we couldn’t go everywhere, because we flee from the guardians. I knew Dimitri would like the memory too, so I bought it.  
Back in the car did I explain the story about the book to Lissa and Eddie.  
Back at Court, I went back home to wrap up the book. I already had seen Christian, so Dimitri should be at Court too. I expected to find him at the gym, so I waited for him to come home. I cleaned up the apartment and after an hour Dimitri finally came home.  
‘Hey comrade, how was your day?’ I asked. ‘Fine, Christian stayed at Court, so I had time to practice, and of course did I had some shifts. How was Lehigh?’ He asked. ‘Fine. It was what I expected. Beautiful building, kind people, but the lessons are a bit boring. After the lessons Lissa wanted to the shopping center. I bought something for you too.’ I said. I gave him the book and saw the recognition in his eyes. He smiled and opened the book. It seemed like he was searching for something. He stopped when he found the page about Siberia. ‘I want to go to Siberia with you’ he said and he kissed me. ‘Do you think Lissa will give you a week holiday?’ He asked. ‘Sure she will. I look forward to the trip’ I said and I smiled. ‘We have a holiday in a few weeks. I’m sure she and Christian will give us the holiday.’ I continued. ‘They will be together, so they will have enough guardians’ he admitted. I kissed him and forgot everything else. As always was Dimitri the only one in my world for a moment. The kiss became more powerful, but I broke it. ‘Where do you want to go?’ I asked. ‘Definitely Baia. I know you’ve already met my family, but I want to be there with you. I’ve called them today. They know I’m a dhampir again.’ he said. ‘Super!’ I said. I knew he tried to avoid it. I knew it was hard for him. I kissed him again. I loved him so much it felt like I would explode. I knew everything between us was alright now. I knew he loved me too. I knew every problem between us is gone. People are beginning to accept our relationship and everything is okay. The kiss became more powerful again. ‘Roza, you’re so strong, so beautiful’ he whispered. I smiled, remembering the first time he said that, a year ago, when he said he loved me, but also said we couldn’t be together. ‘I love you Roza’ he whispered again. ‘I love you too comrade’ I replied. I knew he hated that nickname before. That’s why I started and continue to use it. Now I know he loves the nickname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't update a few weeks. I have written the next chapter, but I'm waiting for someone who checks my English. I know she is busy with that so I hope she is done this week. I'll try to update soon, but I first write on paper, than do I have to type it, and then someone checks my English...


	3. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it toke so many time to update. I had written it a while ago, but I waited for someone to check my English. I know I make some misspellings, because English isn't my foreign language. I'll update it now, but it isn't checked for misspellings. I'll change the format when it is checked, but I didn't want to let you wait any longer ;)
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the story :)

‘Lissa, I would like to ask you something’ I said the next morning, while we were driving to Lehigh. ‘What?’ she asked. ‘Can you give me a week holiday when we won’t have to school?’ I asked. ‘Yes, of course I will. What do you want to do?’ she asked. ‘Dimitri asked me to go to Siberia then.’ I smiled. She smiled too. ‘I know you two both wanted to go to Siberia’ she said. ‘So, none of your other guardians will have holiday then?’ I asked. Her safety came first. ‘No, and don’t worry, I won’t let any of them have an holiday.’ She said. ‘Besides that, Christian will be with me, so we both have enough guardians’ she said. I knew she was right, but I’ll always worry about her. I worry even more about her  since the bond is gone.

The lesson started, but it was such a boring lesson. I will never understand why Lissa chose this, but never mind. For once did I allow myself to take my phone, still listening to the teacher. I texted Dimitri.

_me: Comrade, please rescue me!_

_Dimitri: What’s wrong?_

_Me: Lesson is boring…_

_Dimitri: Can’t do something about that -.-_

_Me: I know, but you have to rescue me :P_

_Me: Will Christian give you holiday?_

_Dimitri: Yes, it wasn’t a problem. I think he liked it, so he won’t have to share Lissa with you ;) Did Lissa gave you holiday?_

_Me: Yes it also wasn’t a problem. I’m looking forward to the trip (:_

_Dimitri: Me to (:_

_Me: We’ll have a nice time. What do you want to do?_

_Dimitri: Flights will take a few hours, so we’ll be 8 days in Siberia, if we leave Friday after your classes. I definitely want to go to Baia. I don’t know if you want to go somewhere else?_

_Me: Baia is super (: I’d love to see your family again. I’m sorry,  I’ll have to pay attention again. Love u <3_

_Dimitri: Love you too_

I putted my phone away and paid attention the whole day. Time went too slow, I wanted to plan our trip with Dimitri, but I had to do some homework too after the lessons. After homework I went to the gym, texting Dimitri that I wanted to meet him there in 5 minutes.

When I entered the gym I already saw Dimitri. ‘Hey comrade’  I said. ‘Wanna go training?’ I asked. I knew fighting him would stay difficult, but the last time we fought for training before he turned Strigoi. I missed that. We practiced, both able to win the fights. The last fight he pinned me. Actually, we already had stopped training. I let him pin me. Sometimes, while we are training, he still acts like he is still my mentor and I’m his student. I let him be, he has more experience, but I’m glad no one sees him like he’s still my mentor. We still laid there on the floor. It was like one of the first times we fought. He pinned me and we both felt the tension between us. This time was almost exactly the same, except, we both aren’t denying our love. ‘I have you’ he said.  ‘I wasn’t really fighting anymore. I let you pin me’ I said. He kissed me, but the door went open. ‘Hey, get a room, this is public space’ a familiar voice said. ‘Some people come here for training’ he continued. I turned to Eddie. ‘We were training, this was… just the ending’ and, watching to Dimitri, ‘but he’s right, maybe we should get a room’. He nodded. ‘you’re right, see you Eddie’ he said.

Back in our apartment, I kissed him again. I loved him and I knew he loved me too. I felt the love when we kissed and I felt so much more. We shared love, we trusted each other, we needed each other. I saw the love in his eyes and I was sure he could see the love in my eyes too. ‘I love you товарищ’ I said. He smiled, he didn’t expect I knew the Russian word for ‘comrade’ I think. ‘Love you to, my Roza’ he whispered. I loved it so much when he used my Russian nickname.

We fell in sleep, holding each other close. I fell in a spirit dream. The last one I had was before Lissa became Queen and I knew Adrian was pissed, so I didn’t expect that he wanted to talk with me. He was right, I treated him bad. I cheated on him, only because Dimitri said he still loved me while I still had something with Adrian. ‘Hi Rose’ he said. ‘Hey Adrian’ I said. ‘What do you want?’ I asked. ‘I just want to say sorry about what I have said’ he answered. ‘You didn’t destroy the lives of your friends and I know you’re not selfish. I’m glad you’re happy, even now it’s with him instead of with me. Maybe you were right, maybe we don’t fit together’ he said. ‘I’m sorry I cheated you. I had to wait, I didn’t treat you well. I really thought I was over him, but I wasn’t. I’m the one who needs to say sorry, your reaction was understandable’ I said. ‘Do you think we could be friends again?’ I asked. ‘Yes, that’s actually why I came here, to ask if we could be friends again.’ He said. We hugged and he broke the dream.

I woke up, as always after a spirit dream. I still had Dimitri in my arms and I enjoyed watching him sleep. I took his hand and fell asleep again. I had a dream again. I felt happy and was preparing for something important. I dreamt about a wedding. _My wedding_ I realized. It was a nice dream and way to soon went the alarm clock.

A few weeks went slowly by, but finally was the day Dimitri and I would go to Siberia. I woke up with a smile. This would be a good day. I kissed Dimitri and went with Lissa and Eddie to college. Time went by, because I wanted to go to Siberia. The days were practical the same, until now. College, training, homework and time with my friends and Dimitri. Dimitri and I decided to stay with the Belikova’s the whole holiday, so we would see what would happen.

Last college was so boring. I was excited to go to Siberia, so it was hard to concentrate. There was a pre-holiday sphere, so the lessons weren’t that important.

_Me: Comrade, will you please help me through this lesson?_

_Dimitri: Haha, boring lessons? ;)_

_Me:  ):_

_Me: Wish it’s already time to go…_

_Dimitri: Me too. Just wait. Christian and I will be there to get you and Lissa out of there ;)_

_Me: yey, C U <3_

When college ended, I almost ran away. Lissa and Christian were excited to. They had a week alone, but wouldn’t go away. When I saw Dimitri, I ran to him. I said my classmates goodbye and we went to Court.


	4. chapter 3

We finally sat in the plane. It was a mess at the airport. There was storm so the flight is running out of time. I finally haven’t that crappy headache in a plane, one of the two positive things about the disappearance of the bond. Because my body had the strength to heal itself from the bullets Tasha shoot I’m not shadow kissed anymore.

I fell asleep, leaning on Dimitri’s shoulder. I felt he leant to me too and he fell asleep too. After a few hours did we land at Moscow airport and did we take the flight to St Petersburg.

After a few hours did we arrive in Baia. I saw the Belikova’s were waiting for us. ‘Dimka!’ Viktoria, Dimitri’s youngest sister yelled. We walked to the house and everyone hugged us. ‘I can’t believe you aren’t a Strigoi anymore Dimka’ Sonya said. ‘Rose?’ Viktoria asked. ‘I’m sorry for my reaction before you left. You were right about Rolan. I’m sorry for what I said to you now I know you only wanted to protect me.’ She said. ‘It’s okay Viktoria. I understand your reaction, I’m sorry too. I had to act different.’ I said and I hugged her.

We all went into the house. ‘Which room will we have?’ I asked Olena. ‘You can take the same room as before Rose, and Dimitri, you can take your own room of course.’ she said. ‘Why don’t we get the same room?’ Dimitri asked. ‘It’s not that we don’t sleep together back home’. ‘Okay, you can sleep in Dimitri’s room too Rose, but you have to go to the guest room too. I’m sure you left some clothes when you left.’ She said. Dimitri and I left our stuff in his room and went back downstairs. ‘You must be hungry’ Olena said. ‘I made some rye bread, I know how much you love it Dimka’ she said. We went to the dining room and the bread was delicious. ‘It was delicious Olena’ I said. She smiled. ‘Why didn’t you say goodbye when you left Rose?’ Paul asked. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t plan to leave before I left. I had to’ I said. ‘What did you do after you left?’ he continued. I glanced to Dimitri, knowing he wouldn’t like the subject. ‘Uhm, I went with Denis and his friends after the Strigoi. I had to leave because ‘Zmey’ told me to leave and I didn’t want to go back to the academy. I told you that I was here because I needed to tell you… you know… But I actually was here because I wanted to hunt Dimitri and I needed to kill him. I failed and went back to the academy to graduate. After graduation, I returned Dimitri with help from my friends and the rest of the story do you all know I think.’ I changed the subject. I told Dimitri how it was here a few months ago. I didn’t tell him much about the funeral, but I told him about the warmth of the house, the love I felt when I was here. I told him how everyone seemed to know we were together, but everybody accepted it. I told him how I touched the walls because I knew he had done it before. I told him what I thought when I saw the bookcase and how I understood his partial to his Western romans. I told him how much I missed him while I was here, especially while I was there, because I missed him every second he wasn’t there. His family told him stories about everyone he knows, about everything what happened here the last few months. It was a perfect evening with his family.

I saw in Dimitri’s eyes how hard it was to be back, even when he want to hide it. I know he just wants to enjoy being with his family, but I can see he has also memories about what happened when he was a Strigoi. He missed Baia so much and is glad to be back, but he has also those feelings of guilt again. I took his hand and told the Belikova’s that we need a little moment together. I took Dimitri outside. ‘Comrade…’ I started. I was worried, but didn’t know how to start. ‘I’m fine Rose’ he said, but he had to know that I knew better. ‘Dimitri, I can see it…’ I said. ‘What would you think?’ he snapped. ‘Being back feels so good. I missed my family so much so I’m supposed to be happy. I am happy, I think, but, Siberia is also the place of my nightmares. It’s the place where I have hurt you so much. You must know that…’ he continued. I hugged him. I knew. ‘I know that you still feel guilty about that and I’ll keep saying that I forgive you. I always forgave you and I will always forgive you. I know it’s hard for you and I know you’ll enjoy this trip. I know you also enjoy it now’ I said. It was hard for me to see him this broken. ‘Comrade, please try to forget it for a moment. I’ll be here when you need me, you know. I’ll always try to cheer you up… ‘I was looking for the right words. ‘… And if this trip is too heavy for you, for now, we can go back home. We can return another time. The others will understand. Your family would understand’ I continued. ‘I don’t want to go back’ he said. ‘And I don’t like to see you like this and I will do everything I can do to help you.’ I whispered in his ear. ‘I love you comrade; I said. ‘I love you too Roza and I can’t believe you’re here with me. Thank you for being there when I need you. I know I don’t say that often, but I’m so thankful for that’ he whispered. ‘Hey, you were always there when I needed you at the academy. I promised I’ll be there for you too. I’ll never break with you, whatever you might think’ I said and I kissed him. ‘We should go back. I’m okay again, thank you… Thanks that you noticed and talked to me’ he said. ‘No problem’ I said, still holding his hand. We walked back to the house, where Olena was making the dinner. I asked if I could help her and Dimitri went upstairs. I helped with the dinner and talked with Olena and Viktoria, who also was helping. Dimitri walked in after a few minutes. I saw he wore his mask again, but maybe that’s all good.

After dinner we went to bed soon I was tired and had a jetlag, and, however I tried to hide it for Dimitri, it’s also hard for me to be here. I have the memories too.  
I fell in sleep soon. I dreamt. I was back in Novosibirsk. Dimitri, Strigoi-Dimitri, took me away. It was the same as what happened then, but I choose to become also a Strigoi. I was weak and I knew I wouldn’t go away. I was a Strigoi and was near the academy, waiting for Lissa to go away. I didn’t care about friendship anymore. I only knew about what the others will say if I kill the last Dragomir. When Lissa went out of the academy, I woke up.

It was hard not to scream. One look near to me and I knew I had to walk away for a moment. I needed to clear my mind, but I didn’t want Dimitri to know. I called Lissa. I wanted   
to know if everything was okay over there and I wanted to know what she would think about the nightmare.

‘Hey Lissa, how’s life back there?’ I asked. ‘Fine. It’s quiet without you and Dimitri. Is everything okay there? You are with Dimitri’s family, aren’t you?’ she asked. ‘Yes, we are. It’s good to be back. It felt wrong to be there without him and I missed them. They are practically my own family. But being back brings memories with it. I have them, but Dimitri has them too. I’m scared to tell him. I’m afraid he’ll feel too guilty and will leave me.’ I said. ‘Do you think it was too soon to go back?’ she asked. ‘For me? No, but I can see it’s hard for Dimitri. He’s happy to be back, to be with his family. He missed them so much, and I can see that, but I also see that he feels so guilty again, about what happened when he was a Strigoi. He’s hurt again and we both have the nightmares again. About what happened, or what could have happen, if I had acted different.’ I said. ‘Rose, he loves you. You both have gone through so much, I’m sure he won’t blame you for having memories’ she said. ‘That’s the point. I don’t think he’ll blame me. I’m afraid he’ll blame himself, but he isn’t the one to blame. He shouldn’t blame himself’ I said. ‘I still think you should tell him. He deserves it to know.’ Lissa said. ‘Hmm, maybe you’re right. Next time I’ll tell him’ I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think of the story? I have deleted some mistakes I made before.  
> Thank you all for reading my story :)  
> Will Rose have more nightmares and will she tell Dimitri? What would he do if she tells him?


	5. chapter 4

Viktoria and I went to the supermarket the next day. Sonya and Karolina had to work and the rest wanted to stay inside. Paul and Zoya claimed Dimitri. Dimitri is so good with the kids, he would be a great father, but I'm unable to give him a child.

'Vika!' yelled a boy of our age when we were near the supermarket. He seemed familiar to me, but I didn't know where I knew him from. 'Rose, do you remember Nikolai?' Viktoria asked. Now I knew where I knew him from. He was a friend of Viktoria. He adored her, but she didn't seem to notice. 'Hey Nikolai' I said. 'Hey Rose, isn't it? Viktoria told me you were back' he said. 'Why did you left? Why so abruptly?' he asked. 'The same reason why I came.' I answered. 

I glanced at Viktoria, but she said that Nikolai didn't know the true reason why I came. 'I didn't came because I had to tell the Belikova's about Dimitri. I didn't look for them, it was coincidence that I came there. It was the reason why I stayed. I felt like I needed to tell. It was safe and it felt nice to stay there. The true reason why I came to Siberia the first place was because I needed to kill Dimitri. I knew he would want someone to kill him, so I did. That's also why I left. I couldn't abandon him.' I said. 'But… you didn't kill him. Vika told me Dimitri is a Dhampir again.' He said. I nodded. 'That's one of the reasons why I'm back. I hesitated when I saw Dimitri. I couldn't kill him, even if I wanted to. When I came back to America, Dimitri followed me. My best friend, who is a spirit user, staked him, so he's back. I'm here with Dimitri' I said. 'Why don't you come with us?' Viktoria asked Nikolai. 

'Then we're with the whole family' she continued. 'Wait... are you two together now?' I asked. 'Yes' Viktoria and Nikolai both smiled. 'After what happened with Rolan I kind of broke. I didn't want to see anyone, and couldn't tell someone what happened. You were the only one who knew, but I still was angry about what you did, and I thought you would be angry about how I treated you. Besides that, no one knew where you were. We only knew you left with Denis and the others.' She said. 'She told me what happened and how she felt about you, Dimitri and everything else. I'm glad I was able to help her' Nikolai added. 'I was thankful, and began to feel more than only friendship. I remembered what you told me, that Nikolai adored me and yes… I adore him too' she smiled. I was happy to see her with him. We walked back to the house.

Dimitri sat in the living room. He was reading one of the Russian books. 'Hey comrade' I said, climbing on his lap. 'Do you want to train outside?' I asked. 'Of course I want' he said. 'Wait a moment, first I want to read this chapter' he said. 'Okay, see you in a few minutes' I said.

It still was a good training for me to fight against Dimitri. We are practically equal, but he still is better. Now it's good training for him too. Dimitri came, wearing his training clothes. We started to fight. It was like the fight during field experience at the academy, the night of the cabin. We know each other, he knows my moves, and I know his. I can see when he wants to attack, but so does he see too. We know our strengths, but we also know each other's weakness. We both were quick, but he was stronger. Once he would have me pinned, it's over for me. He has more power and more length and weight. Once I have him pinned, he can be able to break free, so I'll have to be quick. It still seemed like he already knew what I would do, but I knew it too. Once I was able to lead the fight, I was able to pull him to the ground. It's dangerous to do so, because you have less possibility's to avoid attacks. At the last moment he was able to pin me. 'Well done comrade' I said. I wanted revenge, but there was no time left. We both were exhausted.

We went back to the house and hade some dinner. Paul still kept asking Dimitri and me about our life at the academy. He still thought I was one of the Dhampirs with the molnija marks, but without the promise mark. I showed him the back of my neck. 'I graduated a few weeks before Dimitri came back. I have a promise mark' I told him. 'You got a lot molnija marks!' Paul said. 'How did you get so many marks?' he asked. I hesitated. Most of the kills were in Siberia, when I was in Novosibirsk. I searched for Dimitri, Strigoi-Dimitri. I hunted for the Strigoi. I didn't want to tell the whole truth. 'I've searched for Strigoi for a while' I said. Thankfully Viktoria changed the subject. 'What are you doing now you aren't at the academy anymore? I know you're guardians, but… how can you live together?' she asked. 'I'm guarding my best friend Lissa and Dimitri guards her boyfriend Christian. We live at Court, so we can have much time together' I said. 'Lissa… Do you mean Vasilisa Dragomir, who you talked about when you were here the last time? The girl who you are bonded with and the girl who is the youngest Queen since Queen Alexandra?' Olena asked. 'Yes, the same, but Lissa and I aren't bounded anymore, since I saved myself when Tasha Ozera tried to kill her and I jumped in front of her.' I said. 'How did that happen?' Sonya asked. 'We still don't know…' I said. I stopped; I felt sick. I reached for my stake. 'There are Strigoi!' I yelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think till now? What will happen next in the story?
> 
> What do you think about Viktoria and Nikolai?
> 
> I also have 2 questions for the story. Do you think Rose should call the Belikova's with their Russian name or shouldn't she? I think she shouldn't, because she doesn't call Dimitri Dimka (and I think that's right, because Tasha always called him so) but I just wanted your advice ;)
> 
> Ow, and, does someone knows a good title to this story? I'm not very good at creating titles, so I called it VA after last sacrifice, but yeah, it isn't very good :P
> 
> Last thing; for later in the story I need 3 Royal Guardians. Does someone know some names according to the story, or do I need to put own characters in it?
> 
> Next update will be monday ;) (maybe I won't update in the holiday, because I don't do much on my laptop then, so maybe you'll need to wait 2 weeks, but I'll update at least monday


	6. chapter 5

Viktoria and I went to the supermarket the next day. Sonya and Karolina had to work and the rest wanted to stay inside. Paul and Zoya claimed Dimitri. Dimitri is so good with the kids, he would be a great father, but I'm unable to give him a child.

'Vika!' yelled a boy of our age when we were near the supermarket. He seemed familiar to me, but I didn't know where I knew him from. 'Rose, do you remember Nikolai?' Viktoria asked. Now I knew where I knew him from. He was a friend of Viktoria. He adored her, but she didn't seem to notice. 'Hey Nikolai' I said. 'Hey Rose, isn't it? Viktoria told me you were back' he said. 'Why did you left? Why so abruptly?' he asked. 'The same reason why I came.' I answered. I glanced at Viktoria, but she said that Nikolai didn't know the true reason why I came. 'I didn't came because I had to tell the Belikova's about Dimitri. I didn't look for them, it was coincidence that I came there. It was the reason why I stayed. I felt like I needed to tell. It was safe and it felt nice to stay there. The true reason why I came to Siberia the first place was because I needed to kill Dimitri. I knew he would want someone to kill him, so I did. That's also why I left. I couldn't abandon him.' I said. 'But… you didn't kill him. Vika told me Dimitri is a Dhampir again.' He said. I nodded. 'That's one of the reasons why I'm back. I hesitated when I saw Dimitri. I couldn't kill him, even if I wanted to. When I came back to America, Dimitri followed me. My best friend, who is a spirit user, staked him, so he's back. I'm here with Dimitri' I said. 'Why don't you come with us?' Viktoria asked Nikolai. 'Then we're with the whole family' she continued. 'Are you two together now?' I asked. 'Yes' Viktoria and Nikolai both smiled. 'After what happened with Rolan I kind of broke. I didn't want to see anyone, and couldn't tell someone what happened. You were the only one who knew, but I still was angry about what you did, and I thought you would be angry about how I treated you. Besides that, no one knew where you were. We only knew you left with Denis and the others.' She said. 'She told me what happened and how she felt about you, Dimitri and everything else. I'm glad I was able to help her' Nikolai added. 'I was thankful, and began to feel more than only friendship. I remembered what you told me, that Nikolai adored me and yes… I adore him too' she smiled. I was happy to see her with him. We walked back to the house.

Dimitri sat in the living room. He was reading one of the Russian books. 'Hey comrade' I said, climbing on his lap. 'Do you want to train outside?' I asked. 'Of course I want' he said. 'Wait a moment, first I want to read this chapter' he said. 'Okay, see you in a few minutes' I said.

It still was a good training for me to fight against Dimitri. We are practically equal, but he still is better. Now it's good training for him too. Dimitri came, wearing his training clothes. We started to fight. It was like the fight during field experience at the academy, the night of the cabin. We know each other, he knows my moves, and I know his. I can see when he wants to attack, but so does he see too. We know our strengths, but we also know each other's weakness. We both were quick, but he was stronger. Once he would have me pinned, it's over for me. He has more power and more length and weight. Once I have him pinned, he can be able to break free, so I'll have to be quick. It still seemed like he already knew what I would do, but I knew it too. Once I was able to lead the fight, I was able to pull him to the ground. It's dangerous to do so, because you have less possibility's to avoid attacks. At the last moment he was able to pin me. 'Well done comrade' I said. I wanted revenge, but there was no time left. We both were exhausted.

We went back to the house and hade some dinner. Paul still kept asking Dimitri and me about our life at the academy. He still thought I was one of the Dhampirs with the molnija marks, but without the promise mark. I showed him the back of my neck. 'I graduated a few weeks before Dimitri came back. I have a promise mark' I told him. 'You got a lot molnija marks!' Paul said. 'How did you get so many marks?' he asked. I hesitated. Most of the kills were in Siberia, when I was in Novosibirsk. I searched for Dimitri, Strigoi-Dimitri. I hunted for the Strigoi. I didn't want to tell the whole truth. 'I've searched for Strigoi for a while' I said. Thankfully Viktoria changed the subject. 'What are you doing now you aren't at the academy anymore? I know you're guardians, but… how can you live together?' she asked. 'I'm guarding my best friend Lissa and Dimitri guards her boyfriend Christian. We live at Court, so we can have much time together' I said. 'Lissa… Do you mean Vasilisa Dragomir, who you talked about when you were here the last time? The girl who you are bonded with and the girl who is the youngest Queen since Queen Alexandra?' Olena asked. 'Yes, the same, but Lissa and I aren't bounded anymore, since I saved myself when Tasha Ozera tried to kill her and I jumped in front of her.' I said. 'How did that happen?' Sonya asked. 'We still don't know…' I said. I stopped; I felt sick. I reached for my stake. 'There are Strigoi!' I yelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think till now? What will happen next in the story?
> 
> What do you think about Viktoria and Nikolai?
> 
> I also have 2 questions for the story. Do you think Rose should call the Belikova's with their Russian name or shouldn't she? I think she shouldn't, because she doesn't call Dimitri Dimka (and I think that's right, because Tasha always called him so) but I just wanted your advice ;)
> 
> Ow, and, does someone knows a good title to this story? I'm not very good at creating titles, so I called it VA after last sacrifice, but yeah, it isn't very good :P
> 
> Last thing; for later in the story I need 3 Royal Guardians. Does someone know some names according to the story, or do I need to put own characters in it?
> 
> Next update will be monday ;) (maybe I won't update in the holiday, because I don't do much on my laptop then, so maybe you'll need to wait 2 weeks, but I'll update at least monday


	7. Chapter 7

‘Черт!’ I hear Dimitri swear in Russian. ‘Stay here, we’ll fight them’ he said. ‘Keep yourselves in safety’ he added. He reached for his stake too and we ran out of the house. We saw 5 Strigoi. They ran towards us, and started to attack Dimitri. He was outside the house first, and the Strigoi always count him to be the most dangerous. I have to say, he still is, but we are almost equal and I don’t like to always be referred as the weakest one when I fight with boys or men. Anyways, Dimitri was already fighting. I helped him because 3 were trying to kill him. These Strigoi must know me – or my reputation. I had to say, I had many Strigoi enemies, not only because I’m a Dhampir, but because I’ve killed so much Strigoi, even before graduating. I was lucky that one of the two Strigoi that were attacking me was young. I could see it would be easy to stake her. I avoided the stronger one and was able to stake the woman. 

I saw Dimitri was in trouble. I fought, but moved to Dimitri. He had killed one of the 3 Strigoi that were fighting him, but the other 2 were strong. Very strong. It surprised ‘my’ Strigoi that I was trying to move. I fought harder, using the lead I earned and finally I was able to stake the Strigoi. I ran to Dimitri and staked one of the Strigoi left in the shoulder. She was in pain and Dimitri could stake her.

Unfortunately the last one could escape, but we were glad we were still alive. I called the Alchemists to clean the body’s and to tell how many Dimitri had killed, and how many I had killed. 

I could see Dimitri was wearing his mask again. I squeezed his hand to let him know I was there for him. We went back to the house, to let the others know we were safe. 

I could see the fear on the faces of the Belikova’s. They all had studied at an academy and they all had learn to fight, but they didn’t need to fight. Besides that, Yeva was too old to fight, Sonya and Karolina had their children to protect and Viktoria still was studying. Fact was that they didn’t train enough to be able to fight against the Strigoi. 

Karolina kept Zoya and Paul close to her. ‘We’re safe’ Dimitri said. After that I needed to call Lissa. She had to know about the attack, or if she already knew, she had to know that we were safe. ‘Rose! Everything okay there?’ she asked. ‘Well… We’re fine now. There was a Strigoi Attack, but Dimitri and I were able to kill most of them’ I said. ‘Is anyone injured?’ she asked. ‘No, Dimitri and I just have a few scratches, but we both have had worse. It’s nothing to worry about, I just wanted you to know that we were safe and alive.’ I said. ‘I would feel better if you were back at Court…’ Lissa said. I always knew she was protective about me too, but it has no use. ‘Liss, we have holiday. There are just a few days left’ I said. ‘Besides that, I will always fight against Strigoi. That’s my job. I have fought more than these and it doesn’t matter if I’m here, of if I’m at Court.’ I said. ‘But still… You are like a sister to me, and I count Dimitri to my friends. You and Dimitri are the best guardians we have and I want you to be safe.’ Lissa said. ‘Liss, please. I won’t return. I’m safe and I’ll be safe. We can fight them, and we can have Nikolai to help us if there come more Strigoi.’ I said. ‘Okay, if you won’t come back, Christian and I come to Russia. I hope we can sleep somewhere.’ Lissa said. ‘I’ll ask Olena if you can stay. Only you, Christian and Eddie. Other guardians can bring you two here and we’ll bring you back after our holiday. I’ll ask the Belikova’s if it’s okay if you stay’ I said.

I walked back to the living room. ‘Uhmm… I called my friend Lissa. I thought she needed to know about the attack and that we all are okay. The point is… She is worried now and actually wanted Dimitri and I come back. She is like a sister to me and she is also very protective about me. Is it okay if she comes here, with her boyfriend and an extra guardian?’ I asked. ‘I can help more in the house and I can get them from the airport, I’ll care about them so you won’t have any more work.’ I said. ‘Of course Rose.’ Olena said. The rest nodded. ‘It’s okay’ I said to Lissa. ‘You, Christian and Eddie can come here. If you can tell me when you’ll land at the airport, I can get you here. Will you text me?’ I asked. ‘Yes, thanks’ she said. ‘I’ll need to go, we have to pack our stuff now’ she said. I heard the smile in her voice. ‘See you soon, bye’ I said and I hang up. 

Lissa, Christian and Eddie would come the next afternoon. I asked Dimitri to go to the airport with me, so we could take the others with us and the other guardians, who flew with the others, could return or could have a day off.

We drove to the airport, talking about a lot of things. ‘I love it to be here, with you’ I said. ‘Me too’ he nodded. After a few hours we were at the airport. The others were already waiting for us. Dimitri and I went on the ‘guardian mode, like Eddie already was. Eddie and I were the near guardians and Dimitri was far, but he was close enough. It was the same as always when we were with the group. 

It was 4O’clock when we returned to Baia. ‘Welcome your majesty’ Olena said. ‘And Lord Ozera and Guardian Castile’ she continued. ‘Please just call me Lissa. You’re the mother in law of my best friend, you’re almost family’ Lissa said with a smile. I knew she hated the official terms, she refused others to call her ‘Princess Dragomir’ before. ‘And please call me Christian, I don’t like that Royal ‘Lord’ stuff’ Christian added. ‘And I’m just Eddie’ Eddie said.  
‘Well, I’m Olena and this are my mother Yeva, my daughters Viktoria, Sonya and Karolina and my grand-children Paul and Zoya.’ Olena said. ‘Nice to meet you all’ Lissa said and the others agreed. 

‘Shall we show you Baia?’ I asked. ‘If you want to?’ Lissa said. And if I can’t help you, Olena? We are with many and that will cause you a lot work’ Lissa added. ‘No, please enjoy your trip here’ Olena said. 

We were walking for a while when we met Mark and Oksana. I met them when I was in Siberia last time. Oksana is a Spirit user, and Mark is her shadow kissed guardian. ‘Hey Mark and Oksana’ Dimitri said. ‘Hey Dimitri’ Mark said. ‘And nice to see you again Rose’ he added. ‘Mark, Oksana, this are my friends, Lissa Dragomir, Christian Ozera and Eddie Castile.’ I said. ‘Nice to meet you. Rose told us a lot about you. Especially about you, majesty. You must be the Spirit user with the bond with Rose.’ Oksana said. ‘Yes, I was. And please call me Lissa.’ Lissa answered. ‘But how…’ Mark asked. ‘I don’t know what you’ve heard about the election?’ Lissa started. ‘We all heard that Rose was suspected that she had killed the last Queen. You all caught the real murderer and you became Queen.’ Oksana said.

‘Yes, the real murderer wanted me in jail because she had a crush on Dimitri. She was jealous and thought she had a chance by him if I was in jail. We caught her and she wanted to shot Lissa, because she knew Lissa wouldn’t live her plans anymore. I jumped in front of Lissa and I got a bullet in my chest. Somehow did my body rescue me, because I shouldn’t have survived. Again. Somehow my body healed itself. We think that’s the reason why the bond disappeared.’ I said. ‘Hmm, interesting.’ Mark said. ‘How long will you stay here?’ Oksana asked. ‘We’ll go back at the end of the week’ Dimitri said.

‘Why don’t you have dinner with us later this week?’ she asked. ‘That sounds good, when?’ Lissa asked and we all nodded in agreement. ‘Does tomorrow fit with your plans?’ Mark asked. ‘Yes of course, that would be nice.’ we said.

The next day we had dinner with Mark and Oksana. Lissa wanted to know more about Oksana’s healing methods., Lissa knows a lot about her spirit powers; she, Adrian and Sonya work with it together, but they always want to know more. It was a nice evening. 

Way to soon did we need to go back to Court. I would miss the Belikova’s, but it also would be nice to be back home. I loved to have so many time with Dimitri, but honestly do I think it’s good for him to go back to Court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? It's an early update, because I thought that I would have updated as many as I would do without the break. I can't promise I will update in holiday, like I said monday, so this week I updated 2 times and if I don't update in the holiday I'll update 2 times after the holiday, on monday and thursday
> 
> Thanx for the views, visits, follows and comments :) Please keep following and commenting, I really appreciate that.
> 
> I already wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year, if I won't be here during holiday :)


	8. Chapter 8

Way to soon did we had to go back to Court. I would miss the Belikova’s, but it also would be nice to back home. I loved to have so much time with Dimitri, but honestly do I think it’s good for him to go back to Court. 

Everything went as usual when we were back at Court.. I had a shift and we went to bed early because of the jetlag and I had to go back to college the next morning. A week later Dimitri and I got our molnija marks from the kills we got in Baia. A few weeks went by and nothing really happened.

Dimitri and I were okay, Lissa, Eddie and I had good marks for our first exams. It was clear Lissa had the best and Eddie and I had marks just good enough to go further with the study, but it was enough. I didn’t expect different. I still had some nightmares about Novosibirsk, but I was able to hide them and it wasn’t a problem between me and Dimitri. I had learn to deal with nightmares before, the worst were after Spokane, when my best friend Mason died, and I think those nightmares were worse than the ones I had now. 

School started to be difficult. People started to notice how protective I was about Lissa. I was always around, always on her side. Me, Eddie and Lissa are the only Moroi and Dhampirs here and people don’t know about us.

It was clear I always was protective about Lissa, especially after the accident when her parents and brother died. It wasn’t strange at the academy. People only thought I already thought I was her guardian. I acted like her guardian, because I knew I would be and she meant the world to me. Now I had to do was what I never did since I know Lissa; I left her side. I needed to keep distance. I told Eddie and Lissa I would be near enough, I still would be able to guard Lissa, but I didn’t like this. Now I didn’t was at her side all the time I felt I wasn’t in her life anymore.

Dimitri should have seen there was something wrong. ‘What’s up Rose?’   
It felt wrong to lie to him. ‘ I’m just worried about Lissa. People at school started to notice how protective I am around her so I need to keep distance’   
‘You know she’ll be safe. I know you always keep an eye at her, you even did that when you two had a fight. Eddie will make sure she’s safe too. ‘  
‘ I know somewhere, but I will always be worried about her. I don’t even have the bond anymore... But you’re right. I’ll try to reduce the worries.’   
I moved towards him. ‘ Did I already said that I love you so much Comrade?’   
He kissed me. ‘Yes, you already said that, but I like each time you say so. I love you too Roza’   
With him in my arms I fell asleep.

I woke up in a luxury suit. The bed I was laying in was huge. There were a couch, TV and a bookcase. There was a bathroom and the windows were almost black. All the light came from the lamps in the suite. The door was still locked. Of course he wouldn’t let me out.  
After a while the door opened and Dimitri came in. His red eyes looked at me. ‘Do you know it yet?’ he asked.  
‘Yes... No... I’m not sure... Does it hurt?’  
‘I’ll reduce the pain. It’ll be the same as when I bite you. I only take more blood.’   
I nodded, deep in my thoughts. Would I do it? I’ll be alive and I could be always with him, or would I say no and chose for the death, without him?  
‘You know we haven’t much time anymore’ Dimitri stated.  
‘ Okay, do it’ He was right. It was almost the same as a bite. I felt fuzzy, happy. I felt the bond disappear. The last thing I heard was Lissa’s scream when she realized I passed away. Wait... I can’t hear Lissa scream through the bond. I’m not able to hear that when I’m not in her head.

I woke up. I breathed fast because of the nightmare. Thankfully Dimitri didn’t wake up, since I must be the one who was screaming.   
‘No! You can’t leave me, not now!’  
I realized Dimitri screamed.  
‘Dimitri, wake up!’ I said. I hold him close to me when he woke up.  
‘Roza, you’re still here’ he whispered in disbelieve.  
‘Yes, of course, I won’t leave you’   
‘But you said...’  
I interrupted him. ‘Shh. I didn’t say so. I wouldn’t do. It must’ve been a bad dream.’  
‘I’m afraid Rose’ he whispered. I knew how hard it was for him to admit this. ‘It all comes back again. Since our holiday I know you’ll once leave me. I’m unable to give you children, I’m unable to give you everything you deserve. I’ve done so many bad things to you, not only in Novosibirsk, but also at the academy and after you returned me, I know you deserve so much better than me. I’ve hurt you so many times and you’re still here, but I know for sure that won’t last long. I don’t deserve you.’  
I interrupted him. ‘I understand why you did what you did. I won’t ever leave you because of those things. I love you and now I’m finally with you my life feels complete. I know that we weren’t together at the academy because of the age gap and you being my teacher and that stuff. I know it wasn’t you who did all those things to me in Novosibirsk, I already told you so many times. It wasn’t you and besides that, you only could do those things to me because I went after you, because I loved you too much to pretend you died, like everyone else did. When you were back to me you had a lot of feelings to deal with. I understand that you needed to place everything before you could move on and I’m so happy you did. I’m so happy you are mine now. You don’t have to be afraid that I’ll leave you, never.’  
He nodded, but I could see he still didn’t believe me for hundred per cent. ‘If any other guy had hurt me so many times I would be long gone. If Adrian had hurt me, I would never give him a change as a boyfriend again, maybe as friends, but you are so much different. I love you and nothing can change that.’  
He fell asleep in my arms after a while. Soon after he fell asleep I fell also asleep.

A few weeks went by. It was harder to hide my nightmares. It was harder to keep distance of the memories. I couldn’t cope with it any longer and pretend that nothing was going on. I didn’t dare to tell Dimitri, he was in so much pain too, I couldn’t do that to him.  
‘Lissa?’ I asked one day when I was done with it. ‘Can there be a reason why you would need to leave Court without Christian or why he would leave without you?’  
She was surprised. ‘Why would there be a reason?’  
‘I-I ehm, I just want some time alone with you. It’s been a while since we had some time together, without the boys or anyone else’  
‘I don’t know… We can also do that here at Court.’  
‘I just want to be away from here…’  
‘Does this have anything to do with Dimitri Rose?’  
She knew me too well… ‘Ehm, maybe…’  
‘Rose, what’s wrong?’  
‘Nothing, not really’ I quickly said.  
‘Rose’  
‘Okay… It’s just, since our holiday he’s hurt again. He has nightmares and feels very guilty again. He keeps thinking I’ll leave him, but I won’t. But… I still have the memories and nightmares too. I know I promised I’d tell him when I have another nightmare, but I can’t. I’m afraid he’ll leave me when he finds out. I need him or myself to be away a few days, just to think about it, just to reload and to know what I need to do… I need this time, because I’m afraid we won’t last long anymore.’  
I felt so stupid. How couldn’t we last longer, how could we still have those stupid problems, even when we are finally together. Lissa hugged me. ‘Oww Rose.. You two love each other so much. You both ad to go through so much, don’t let this be your break up. You’ll be able to handle it, I’m sure. You’re right, we need to go. I’ll have to tell Christian, hope you don’t mind?’ she asked.  
I was so happy that she wanted to give me and Dimitri the time we need. ‘Sure you need to tell him. Thank you so much!’  
‘I always can leave for Queen’s stuff. We only need a reason for Christian to leave too or to stay behind.’  
I had an idea. ‘Maybe he and Mia will need to go to the academy for their fight-group?’ I suggested.

Since Lissa is Queen, the Moroi who want to learn how to fight will learn to fight. Mia already had her group at Court, and Christian learned something from his aunt Tasha so they leaded the group. We started with an experiment at St. Vladimir’s, but I think it will succeed. There are some Moroi and Dhampirs who learn the Moroi to fight and a few Dhampirs can teach them some offensive magic if they want to. Christian and Mia visit the academy to see how the experiment progress and every time they visit the academy the group is a little larger.

‘Can he go to the academy earlier to check if everything is okay there?’ I asked  
‘That’s a good idea. We can say that Dimitri can learn the students some moves’  
‘Who will we bring with us? I think Eddie, but maybe we should let him choose if he wants to go with us or with Christian and Mia. He won’t need to know why we’re leaving.’ Lissa said.   
‘That’s fine. Thanks for helping me’ I hugged her.  
When I walked back home I thought about how I would tell Dimitri.

The next day Lissa asked Eddie what he wanted; go with us or with Christian and Mia. He was a bit overruled.   
‘I’m supposed to go with you, I don’t know why you act like I have a choice’ he said.  
‘I act so because I give you the choice. Christian and Mia can use a second guardian and I can take every royal guardian I want.’  
He turned a bit red. ‘Hmm, okay, if you’re sure, I think I’ll go with Mia and Christian.’  
‘I’m sure, you go with Christian and Mia and I will ask another guardian to go with me. You will go Wednesday till Saturday. Rose, we’ll go Friday to Monday. I know it’s your weekend, but I’ll give you a few days of extra.   
‘Okay, that’s fine.’ I looked at my watch. ‘Shit, we need to go, we’re late for class.’

In college, there were only two seats next to each other. I had to sit a few seats behind them. Thankfully I could sit behind them. I kept an eye on Lissa, while someone next to me started to talk. ‘Why aren’t you with Lissa? I thought she always needed her babysitter?’ the girl said.  
‘No, of course not. We’re just friends and I only keep an eye on her because… Well, it’s none of your business.’  
‘Who is she why she walks around like she is the Queen?’  
Because she is a Queen I wanted to say. ‘She doesn’t. I’m only a bit protective about her because she’s like a sister to me. She has gone through a lot of shit, but again, it’s none of your business.’ I said.  
The girl tried to talk to me, but she was annoying me. I ignored her for the rest of the lesson. 

Back home I trained a bit and waited for Dimitri to come home. I needed to tell him I’ll leave Friday morning. I heard him to come home after a while.  
‘Comrade’ I said. I kissed him. ‘I’ve waited for you, I need to tell you something…’  
‘What’s wrong Rose?’  
I felt guilty that I would go away on purpose. ‘Lissa will go to Europe for some Queen’s stuff. I’ll need to go with her. We’ll leave Friday morning and will back Monday in the evening. I know it’s our weekend but we’ll have enough time together I think.’  
‘We can’t go together… Christian will go back to the academy on Wednesday.’ He said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year to everyone!  
> I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'll update Wednesday again and then I'll update each Monday, like I used to do.
> 
> What do you think so far? How will the story end?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the 7th chapter, as promised. I really hope you'll like it :)  
> Thanx for every read and kudos you gave me :)

I still felt guilty towards Dimitri. It feels like I abandon him, because I asked for a few days alone. I was glad it was time for him to leave the next day. I really hoped these few days would help me to cope with the memories. I really hoped he wouldn’t ever know.

Dimitri sat in the plane and I had a day alone. I really needed to think about everything what happened, but I couldn’t arrange my thoughts. I wrote down everything I thought, every single thing. I wrote about Novosibirsk, about Russia, about Dimitri, our relationship, the nightmares, everything. I even thought about how life would be without Dimitri –a disaster. I felt empty after all that writing. I knew the memories could cause a break up, but I didn’t want to let him go. I couldn’t. 

I was angry. Why couldn’t I just have a simple life for once. Is everything okay with Lissa, do I have problems with Dimitri… Again. When everything is okay with us, there is always trouble with Strigoi or with Lissa. I couldn’t live without Dimitri, knowing I still would see him almost every day and knowing we would have to work together. I hoped these days without him would reload me. While I was thinking I got a message.   
Dimitri: I’m back at the academy. Sleep in one of the guest rooms now. I almost walked to my old room ;)  
Me: Haha, I could do the same ;) I miss you…  
Dimitri: Miss you too.   
Me: Do you already know what you can teach the Moroi kids? Have you seen Jill already?  
Dimitri: No, I’ll let the others teach, I’ll just show some moves that could help them. I already saw Jill, she didn’t change a single thing ;)  
Me: How are the others?  
Dimitri: Fine, Christian is always with the Moroi. Eddie and Mia spend a lot together.  
Me: Haha, good ;) I bet that was why Lissa gave him the choice  
Dimitri: I need to go… One day here and they already gave me a shift…. Sleep well Rose. Xxx  
Me: You too, love U <3  
Dimitri: Love u 2 <3

I couldn’t miss Dimitri. I needed to keep the nightmares a secret. I only could hope they would stop in a while.  
I decided to go to the shopping mall in Court. I wanted to buy myself some new clothes. I also wanted to learn how to make the Russian bread Olena always made. I searched for some instructions and tried to make one. It was hard to make. Thankfully I had a few days to practice. The first one was a failure. I didn’t even dare to try it. The next one was better, but still not good enough. I baked the rest of the day. Each bread was better than the one before, but it still was a disaster. Maybe Lissa could help me.

Me: Lissa, when are you done with work?  
Lissa: Just an hour, why?  
Me: Can you come to my house?  
Lissa: Of course I can  
Me: O btw, I hope you can help me with something :P  
Lissa: with what?  
Me: I want to make some rye bread, but my first few tries are a mess  
Liss: Of course I can try to help you ;) See you

The last bread was ready, but it didn’t look good. Maybe the Belikova’s could help me with the bread, they definitely could bake the best bread ever. I didn’t have Olena’s number, but Viktoria gave me hers. 

Me: Hey Viktoria, how are you and the others?

After 5 minutes I had an answer.

Viktoria: Everyone’s fine, I’m back at St. Basils… How are you and Dimka?  
Me: Fine, I think. Dimitri is back at the academy for a few days and I will go to Europe in a few days.  
Me: How are you and Nikolai?  
Viktoria: He’s sweet. I really love him :)  
Me: good to hear :)  
Me: I’ve a little question, maybe you can help me?  
Viktoria: What’s up?  
Me: I’m trying to make rye bread for Dimitri, but I failed several times.   
Viktoria: What did you do?  
I sent the recipe and a picture of the breads.   
Me: I followed the instructions and this is what I made :$  
Viktoria: The recipe is good. I don’t know what you did wrong if you followed all the instructions…  
Me: hmm, well, Lissa comes and she’ll help me. Maybe she can do it better, I can’t even bake an egg :P  
Viktoria: Haha, good luck  
Me: Thnx

After a few minutes Lissa came in. She helped me with the bread, it was better, but not as good as Olena made. I gave up my tries, maybe Dimitri could learn me.

The nest days went by so slow. Most time I had to work, because I needed to guard Lissa. Europe was nice, but I missed Dimitri. Today was the last day of the trip; Lissa told us that we would go back this evening.

Me: Comrade, I’m heading to the airport. I’ll be home tonight :)  
Dimitri: I thought your flight was tomorrow?  
Me: Lissa was done early  
Dimitri: Better, I’ve missed you, I still miss you  
Me: Me 2…

The plane landed after a few hours. I saw Dimitri and Christian, who were walking towards us.  
‘Comrade!’ I yelled and I ran towards him. Our lips met. I missed him so much and I didn’t had any nightmares the last few days.   
‘I love you so much Roza, The last few days were like hell’ he whispered.  
‘I love you too. How was everything at the academy?’  
‘Fine, the Moroi who learn to fight have good lessons. The novices still are better, but they fight their whole life. Alberta asked how you was.’  
‘How was she?’  
‘Fine, she told me again not to ever hurt you. She knew about us like always and she risked her career for us’ he smiled.  
‘She’s amazing’ I said.


	10. Chapter 10

A few weeks went by. I didn’t have any nightmares and I thought Dimitri didn’t had too. We both were fine and everything in my life finally was quiet and okay.  
Lissa told me she had to go to the academy. Queen Tatiana visited the academy each year, so Lissa would.  
‘Will Christian and Dimitri join us?’ I asked.  
‘Of course.’  
‘Good, I don’t want you to be grumpy’ I smiled.  
Haha, funny… How are you and Dimitri?´  
´Good. Since these days apart we are very close. I think it was good to be apart a few days.´  
´And the memories?’  
I didn’t really know what to answer. I didn’t have a nightmare and I thought Dimitri didn’t too, but I knew we both had the “what if” thoughts.  
‘I don’t know. I think we’ll always have the memories, but we have to learn to deal with them.’  
‘Of course you’ll learn. You always coped with everything that happened.’  
‘Thanks. I hope so… Okay, what about the visit to the academy? What did you plan?’  
‘Well, I think Christian and Mia will go to the fight group. They were there a few weeks ago, but I think they will want to know what happened. They had taken a few changes. I think we’ll need a few days. There are 2 new Spirit users, so maybe Adrian or I can learn them something’ she explained.  
‘Sounds good. So, we’ll be with 3 Moroi, so we’ll need at least 10 guardians, since you and Christian are Royal, you’re the Queen and Mia isn’t royal. You will have 5 guardians, Christian 3, since he’s your boyfriend and Mia will get 2 guardians.’ I calculated.  
‘The school has guardians too. I think 6 are enough.’ Lissa said.  
‘Queen Tatiana always had at least 10 guardians with her group. 10 is the least.’ I argued.  
‘Rose?’  
‘Yes?’  
‘Do you think I can ask Sonya to return to the academy? Do you think she wants it? I think it’s good to have a Spirit user at the academy and yeah, I don’t see Adrian teaching. Robert won’t go to the academy, and I can’t always be there.’ Lissa asked.  
‘You can always ask her.’ I said.  
‘Do you think she’ll do it?’  
‘Maybe, but I think that she’ll only go with Mikhail, if she wants.’  
Sonya has, like Dimitri, a clean name. People believe she isn’t a Strigoi anymore, but I know there is the fear that she’ll become one again, since she choose to become a Strigoi. I thought that if Sonya wanted to return, Kirova could be a problem, but I didn’t say that out loud.  
‘Well, I think we should ask her first.’ Lissa interrupted my thoughts.  
‘You’re right. Can we do it tomorrow?’  
‘Sure, see you tomorrow’ she said.

I walked home and quickly cleaned the house and placed some candles. I quickly ordered some food before I heard Dimitri came home.  
‘Good evening Comrade’ I said.  
‘Hey Rose’ he said. He walked towards me and I felt his arms around me.  
‘I love you Dimitri’ I whispered.  
‘I love you too.’ I thought we could have a perfect evening before going back to the academy after the weekend.  
‘We’ll go back to the academy after the weekend’ I said.  
‘What? Why?’  
‘Christian didn’t tell you?’ I asked surprised.  
‘No.’  
‘He, Lissa and Mia will visit the academy, so we’re also going of course.’  
‘Okay. I’d love to go back.’  
I kissed him. I didn’t want to talk about the academy and other stuff. I still couldn’t believe he was mine and everyone accepted us. We deepened the kiss and soon we needed to gasp for air. I looked into his perfect deep brown eyes. My right hand reached for the back of his head to pull him back to me. My other hand reached for his waist. I felt his hands on my back and he leaded us to the couch. When we laid on the couch he moved to kiss my neck…  
Ring  
‘Shit, that’s dinner. I ordered us sushi’ I said.  
I quickly putted my clothes good and walked to the door. I took the sushi and moved to the table. ‘Come, let’s eat’ I said.  
Soon we both were eating. ‘You know how much I love you?’ I asked.  
‘I know you love me, but I also know I love you more’  
‘Impossible.’  
He smirked. Then his expression became more serious. ‘Rose… I’m sorry, but I have to ask this… Do you still have bad memories and nightmares about what happened in Novosibirsk?’ he asked.  
I already felt this coming. I didn’t want to lie to him, or to completely lie. ‘I still have the memories, of course, but like I told you, I know it wasn’t you and I can shake them of. I don’t have them when we’re together, only when you are away, sometimes. I don’t have the nightmares anymore.’  
‘Anymore?’  
‘Yes, I had them… When I came back after Novosibirsk and when you came back and pushed me away.’ I said. That wasn’t completely a lie.  
He had his broken expression again. ‘If you have them again, please say it to me.’  
‘I’ll do, don’t worry.’  
I kissed him again. He kissed back, he kissed back gently, but it became more powerful soon. I led us towards the couch again. ‘Roza, my Roza’ I heard him whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back on my usual schedule ;)  
> What do you think so far? Do you think Rose should have tell the truth? Do you think Dimitri will find out? What will happen if he finds out?


	11. Chapter 11

Lissa and I were walking towards Sonya and Mikhails room. Tomorrow we would go to the academy and we wanted to ask them to go back to the academy to teach again.   
Lissa knocked at the door. ‘Sonya, Mikhail, are you home?’  
‘Yes, come in.’   
We walked into their room. It was the first time I was there. Of course there were a lot flowers, which were absolutely beautiful. It was a colorful room.   
‘Do you want to drink something?’   
‘ No thanks, I already had some drink’ Lissa said.   
‘Me too’ I said.  
I didn’t know what else to say. Thankfully Lissa knew. ‘Rose and I were thinking that it could be helpful to have a Spirit-user at the acedemy. We know that there are at least 2 Spirit-users at the academy now. We wanted to ask you if you would want to take back your old job, Sonya. Of course Mikhail can go with you.’  
‘We need to discuss it with Kirova, but I think she’ll let you if you want to. We wanted to ask you first’ I added.  
Sonya looked at Mikhail. He silently nodded he would go with her.   
‘I don’t know if she’ll let me go back, since I turned myself Strigoi’ she said.  
‘That’ll won’t be a problem. You aren’t a Strigoi anymore and everyone knows that. You regret it, you won’t turn yourself again. We can talk to Kirova if that’s the reason she wouldn’t want you to return.’ Lissa said.  
‘Okay, talk to her. I’m not saying I will return for now, but let’s try it. First I want to know how others will react’ Sonya said.  
‘Okay, we’ll go to the academy tomorrow, so I call you to say what Kirova says about it. 

After our visit to Sonya and Mikhail we both went to our own apartment. We both had to pack our stuff and get ready for the trip. 

The flight was quiet. It took a few hours to go to the academy. We were with a little group; Lissa, Christian, Dimitri, Mia, Eddie and a few other Royal Guardians. Sonya and Mikhail didn’t join us, since they wanted to wait what Kirova would say.

Kirova and Alberta were waiting for us when we arrived. ‘Good afternoon. Will you please follow me to your guest rooms?’ Kirova said.  
We walked to our rooms. Lissa and Christian had the biggest room, because Lissa is the Queen. Dimitri and I slept next to them and the other Guardians were also near. Mia had a room in her own and Eddie slept next to her.   
‘Guardian Belikov, Guardian Hathaway, can I please talk to you after you’re done packing?’ Alberta asked.  
‘Sure’ Dimitri answered. 

We all went to our rooms and unpacked. Once dimitri and I were done we walked to Alberta’s office.  
‘Come in’ she said after we knocked on the door.   
‘Rose, Dimitri, good to see you. How are you?’ she asked.  
‘Fine, thank you.’ Dimitri said.  
‘Fine too… Dimitri told me you always knew about us?’ I asked.  
‘Yes, I knew.’  
‘But… how did you notice?’  
‘You were obvious for me. You always called him ‘Dimitri’ and he had more influence than anyone else. He was the only one that could calm you when you were upset.’  
Okay, she was right. He had a lot influece. I always wanted him to be satisfied.  
‘Besides that, Dimitri changed too. He was more open to you than to anyone else, except to his family.’  
‘That’s impossible…’ I said.   
‘No it isn’t. You had influence on me too. I trusted you more than anyone else’ Dimitri said.  
‘You may have thought I still was an antisocial person, that I cut myself of of everything, but that was worse. Alberta knew’ he added.  
Alberta laughed. ‘Once I suspected things, you were very obvious. I knew it after Spokane. the way dimitri took care about you wasn’t a way he would if he was ‘just’ you teacher.’  
‘So, you knew long before we were together?’  
‘Yes’  
‘Why didn’t you tell Kirova?’  
‘I knew you two. You both were fighting for your feelings, but I could see it was true love. You two deserved each other and I didn’t want to break that. If I would have reported anything, Dimitri would bein jail, your future would be bad, you would lose one of the two people you loved the most and you both would be unhappy.’  
I was surprised. ‘Well, thank you’  
‘Sure. Oh Rose,’  
‘Yes?’  
‘I want to say that I’m proud of you.’  
‘Thank you… But, why?’  
‘Well… It’s hard to learn how to deal with being a Guardian, and you already start wit being a Royal Guardian, which is a huge step.’  
‘That’s true, but I always felt like I was Lissa’s Guardian already, even at the academy, so it’s not that much a change.’  
‘Maybe you’re right, but I’m still proud of you and I have respect for how you deal with everything.’ Alberta said.  
‘Well… Thank you’ I said.


	12. Chapter 12

Lissa and I had our talk with Kirova the next day. I didn’t know what she wanted from us, especially since she asked Dimitri to come too, but we could have the chance to ask if Sonya and Mikhail could return.   
Lissa knocked on Kivora’s door. ‘Come in’ Kirova said.  
‘Good morning, your Majesty, Guardian Belikov and Guardian Hathaway’ Kirova said.  
‘Good morning Headmistress Kirova’ we said.  
‘There is something I want to ask you, Belikov and Hathaway. I know you’re assigned to the most powerful Moroi, but I wanted to ask you if you can return to the academy to teach the better students. Belikov, you did a great job with Hathaway, and Hathaway, I’m sure you can do this too.’  
‘It’s an honor you asked us to come back, Headmistress, but like you said, we are already assigned’ Dimitri said.  
‘Uhm, can I say something?’ Lissa asked.  
‘Sure’  
‘I think that if Rose and Dimitri will take the job, Christian and I also could stay here. I can work here, I only have to go to Court with Rose sometimes, and Christian can do some work for the fighting class. I think it’s a good idea, if it won’t last too long.’ Lissa said.  
‘Liss, are you sure?’ I asked her.  
‘Yes, you should take the chance. I’m here too, so you won’t have to worry about me.’  
I looked at Dimitri, to see what he would want. Surprisingly I saw he thought it was a good plan. He quickly nodded, almost unnoticeable.  
‘Okay, we’ll do it, for one semester.’ I said.  
‘Fine’ Kirova said. ‘I’ll send you the information you might need. I think we can start the last semester? This one already started.’  
‘Sure, we’ll be there.’  
‘Headmistress, we also have a question.’ Lissa said.   
‘Sure, your Majesty’ Kirova said.  
‘Well, Christian told me that there are 2 Spirit users at the academy…’ Lissa started.  
Kirova nodded in response.  
‘I think it’ll be useful to have a Spirit user teaching at the academy again.’  
‘Yes, but we don’t know many Spirit users who could want to take the job.’ Kirova said.  
‘We know one who wants to come back.’  
‘You mean Miss Karp?’  
‘Yes, she will want to return, with Mikhail Tanner.’  
‘That won’t happen.’  
‘Why not?’  
‘Because she turned herself Strigoi. It’s not safe.’  
‘I’ve seen her after she came back. She regrets it. She is stronger than she was and I’m sure she won’t turn herself Strigoi again. Besides that, Guardian Belikov was one too.’ I said.  
I silently took Dimitri’s hand when Kirova answered. ‘I don’t know’ she said.   
‘Headmistress Kirova, you agreed that it’ll be good for the students if they can get taught something about their magic. It’ll spare them for a part of the suffering I went through and the problems I had. Sonya Karp is skilled in the magic.’ Lissa said.  
‘Okay, I’ll think about it.’ Kirova said. She saw that I wanted to say something. ‘Yes, Guardian Tanner can return too.’  
‘Fine, we’ll let you alone now.’ Dimitri said.  
‘Guardian Belikov, Guardian Hathaway, can I please talk to you two?’ Kirova said.  
We only nodded. ‘We’ll come, Liss, go ahead’ I said when I saw her hesitate.   
Kirova waited until Lissa walked away. ‘Everyone knows you’re in a relationship. Everyone knew since you helped Rose escape.’ she started.  
‘Yes, that’s true, what’s your point about it?’ I asked, starting to offend.  
‘Have you been in a relationship when you were at the academy?’  
I seriously didn’t know what this was about. Everyone accepted us. Could we still get punished?  
‘No’ Dimitri said.   
‘How come Vasilisa knew and even Guardian Petrov wasn’t surprised?’ she asked.  
‘Because there was affection. We won’t deny it. I loved Dimitri, he loved me, but we fought against it. We both tried to move on and forget each other, because we knew we couldn’t be together’ I explained.  
‘How come everyone knew?’  
‘I think it was obvious after Dimitri was turned. I was heartbroken… My reaction was a bit extreme if he was just my mentor, I think. I walked away from school to hunt him.’ I said.  
‘So, nothing happened between you before?’  
‘No, we didn’t have a relationship until a few days before I told everyone Natasha Ozera had killed Queen Tatiana instead of me’ I said. I thought it was wise not to tell about the cabin.  
‘Okay, that’s what I wanted to know, you can go now’ Kirova said.  
We walked towards our room.


	13. Chapter 13

We returned to Court a few days later. It was nice to see everyone at the academy. Dimitri and I had given a few guest-lessons and Sonya and Mikhail will go back to the academy soon.  
We were packing our stuff, said a last goodbye to everyone -Lissa asked Jill to come to Court the next holiday- and walked towards the plane.   
Almost everyone was in the plane now, except me, Dimitri, Eddie and a few other Guardians, when I got a sick feeling. I know it sounds strange, but I’m not shadowkissed anymore, but I keep having those sick feelings.   
‘Strigoi!’ I yelled before I turned back. I saw at least 10 Strigoi and there was no time for everyone to get in the plane.  
‘Close the doors!’ I ordered before I ran towards the Strigoi. They were with more, since we were only with 6 people, but we didn’t mind. We were trained.  
Soon we all were fighting against the Strigoi. they went after me too, since I had a reputation of being one of the most dangerous Dhampirs. I killed a lot Strigoi in Russia, so many that the Alchemists lost count.  
I was fighting with 2 Strigoi and I had no time to watch the others. I only could see Dimitri next to me. He was also fighting against 2 Strigoi. It was hard to fight these, I guess it weren’t the youngest Strigoi, but I was trained well.  
I was a bit out of energy and had a few ugly cuts. It hurted and I was almost giving in when I heard someone yell. Dimitri! ran through my head. I managed to look next to me and I saw that Dimitri was still fighting. I had more energy and was able to kill one of the Strigoi. I quickly looked around and saw Eddie, on the floor, covered in blood. No! I thought and I could stake the other Strigoi in my anger too.  
I ran towards Eddie and saw a Strigoi coming to him too. I ran faster, but the Strigoi was first. He looked to Eddie and bowed to his neck, ready to drink his blood. I threw my stake, hitted the Strigoi, grabbed his stake from the ground and finished the Strigoi.   
There were only 3 Strigoi left, so I took Eddie. He had a huge cut in his arm and it bleeded a lot. I cut my sleeve and bandaged his arm.  
I walked towards the plane, with Eddie in my arms. He was pale because of the blood loss. I knocked on the window and they let me in.   
‘Rose! What’s happening? Where do these Strigoi come from?’ Lissa asked.   
‘I don’t know, we are winning, but Eddie is harmed’ I said.  
Mia ran towards us, pale, worried. She cleaned Eddies wound with water, so it looked a lot better.  
‘Let me heal him, he can’t lose more blood’ Lissa said.   
She healed him, a scar replaced the wound. He still was pale, since Lissa couldn’t return his blood, but he would recover.  
Now Eddie was okay I ran outside again. The Strigoi were dead and the others walked to the plane. Dimitri walked behind them, pale, bleeding a bit, with his broken expression. I ran towards him.  
‘Roza! You’re still here!’ he said, breathing out the breathe he must have kept inside.  
‘Yes, why wouldn’t I?’ I asked.  
‘They said… They’re after you and you were gone and I was afraid they took you with them’ he said.  
‘No, I was in the plane. Eddie was harmed, I safed him, Lissa healed him and he’ll recover’ I said.  
‘I was so afraid Rose. Please, watch out, they’re after both you and Lissa, since she’s the Queen and you’re too dangerous. Please be careful’ he whispered.  
‘I will, they will have a hard task if they want to kill me’ I didn’t say they almost did.   
‘Come’I said, grabbing his hand.’We need to go.’  
When we were in the plane, going back to Court I hold Dimitri’s hand. He still was a little bit upset, although he tried to cover it. He wore his emotionless face, but I knew he was upset still.  
‘Comrade, I need to go to Eddie, I need to know if he’s okay’ I whispered. ‘I’ll be right back’ I added.  
Dimitri just nodded. I gave him a kiss and walked towards Eddie. He still looked pale, but was awake. Only Mia was with him, holding his hand.  
‘Eddie, how do you feel?’I asked.  
Mia blushed a little when Eddie answered. ‘I’m fine, just a little weak, but I’ll be fine tomorrow’ he said.   
‘Fine, I’ll let you alone now’ I said.  
‘Wait, Rose…’ Eddie said.  
‘yes?’  
‘I’ve qa question. I’m thinking about something and I would want to know your opinion about it…’ he said.  
‘Okay, tell me.’  
‘Do you think I can ask Lissa for a reassignment?’ he asked.


	14. Chapter 14

Dimitri didn’t come back the whole night. What if I lost him forever? I didn’t see him in the morning before I needed to go to Lissa. We needed to go Lehigh, so I was afraid I wouldn’t see Dimitri the whole day. Well, not seeing him was better than having to work with him while we were in a fight. Of course Dimitri would put on his mask so it would seem he didn’t care at all.   
‘Rose, are you okay?’ Lissa asked worried when we drove to Lehigh. I was staring at the window, thinking about what I needed to say to Dimitri.   
‘I had a nightmare again’ I muttered sadly.  
‘And Dimitri… Does he… know?’  
‘He woke me up’  
‘You mean…’  
‘I mean he knows. I mean he’s angry at me and most likely will break up with me’ I interrupted her.  
‘I’m so sorry to hear’  
‘Yo uwere right. I should have told him’  
‘If there’s anything I can do for you…’ she said, not finishing her sentence.  
‘I stared at the window again for the rest of the ride.

I tried to focus in class. It was hopeless to stare and think about everything. I needed to make sure I pass this year so I can keep guarding Lissa.  
During break I texted Dimiti.

Me: Dimitri, can we please talk?

I kept looking at my phone the rest of the break.  
‘Rose?’ Eddie asked.  
‘Yes?’  
‘Call him’  
‘No, he’ll be too busy’

The class started again. I kept glancing towards my phone, but after an hour he didn’t reply. I sent another message, but I didn’t get a reply. I didn’t pay attention. When the day finally was over I called Dimitri, but he ignored it.

‘Please let him’ Lissa said after my third try. ‘He maybe needs some time.’  
‘But…’  
‘He’ll be home tonight, you can talk to him then’  
She was right. I would leave him alone. 

When we came back to Court we all went our own way. Lissa went to Christian and eddie and I went to the gym.  
‘Did you talk to Lissa already?’ I asked him.  
‘no, not yet. I only talked about it with you. And with Mia of course.’  
‘What does she think about it?’  
‘She said she really would like it if I become her Guardian, but she also says you were right, the rest of the world won’t understand it… And the whole world will know it, if I decide to go for a reassignment.’  
‘I think, if I can give you some more advice, that you shouldn’t think about it too long. You can stay in doubt for the rest of your life, but that won’t make you happy.’   
‘How did you and Dimitri solve your problem?’ he asked.  
‘Well… We both fought against what we both felt, for a long period. When we finally were together we made sure we would give our lives for Lissa and that we needed to trust one another that we could save our own lifes.’  
‘Hmm…’ He seemed to be deep in thoughts.  
‘Whatever you’ll chose, you’ll find a way to have a life with Mia, and she with you’

We entered the gym. I was so into my chat with Eddie that I didn’t notice there already was someone in the gym.  
‘I’ll let you alone. I go to Mia’ Eddie said.  
I still didn’t notice the person i the gym, until he walked away.

‘Dimitri, wait’ I said when I immediately recognized him. Of course he ignored me again. I followed him, walking fast, so I would get next to him.  
‘Dimitri, please’   
He kept ignoring me, until we reached our apartment. there he finally spoke to me. 

‘I can’t do this anymore  
. I think I’ll need to find things out to be able to go on. I…’ For the second time since I met him he had tears in his eyes. ‘I think I need some distance to find these things out. I’m so sorry Roza, I just… I can’t do it this way.’  
How did he dare to call me Roza when he actually broke up with me? I always hated his broken expression, but now it made me mad. Maybe we could have talked about this if I didn’t react the way I always do when I’m hurt.  
‘Okay, got it. You don’t love me enough to find this out with me. I know I hurt you by not telling you about the nightmares, but I did it to protect you, I did it to keep you away from the pain. I’m sorry I made this mistake, but you know I would do everything for you, I did everything for you. I endangered my graduation, my whole future, for you. It definitely was worth it, but I’m done with it now. You and Lissa are the only ones that actually can hurt me, and you did it over and over again. I’m done with it. I will always love you, that’s for sure, but it’s over now.’ I said, while the tears were running down my face.  
I only heard him whisper ‘I’m so sorry Roza’ before I left, fighting to push the tears back. 

I returned to the gym. I needed to hit something. Thankfully there still was no one. I hit as hard as I could, swearing, crying, angry, sad, empty, feeling everything. I was exhausted after an hour. The adrenaline made my mood a little better. I took my bottle of water and walked to the shower. The hot water felt nice. I calmed down a little bit.

I was heading to the apartment to take all my stuff when I got a message from Lissa.  
Lissa: Rose, come to my room! I need to tell you sth!!!

I sighed. I would need to take my stuff later. I stood in Lissa’s room after ten minutes.   
‘Rose, where were you?’ she asked.  
‘I was just heading to your room’ I said, not telling the part where I tried to cheer myself up. ‘What’s up?’  
She was very happy. ‘Christian proposed!’  
‘Congratulations!’ I said. I truely was happy for them, although the timing was really bad for me. ‘Do you already have a date?’ I asked.   
‘Not yet. I’m so happy! From the beginning I knew he was the one. He was so sweet and it was just perfect’ she said dreamily.   
‘How did he ask you?’  
‘We were in our apartment and he was making dinner, my favorite one. I had to do some work, someone wanted to talk to me and it couldn’t wait. When I came back the whole house was decorated with roses and that kind of stuff. The only light was candle light, super romantic. We ate our dinner and after that he sad on his knee and asked me to marry him’

She showed me the ring, which was absolutely beautiful.   
Lissa was so happy she didn’t notice my lack of enthusiasm. If I wanted to sleep somewhere else I needed to go now.  
‘Liss, I’m so happy for you, but I really need to go now’ I said.  
‘See you tomorrow’  
‘See you’

On my way to the apartment I took a room for myself. I would look for a new apartment later. I broke when I came into the apartment. Thankfully Dimitri wasn’t in the apartment. I took all my clothes and personal stuff, like the dresses I bought in Russia, the necklace Dimitri gave me, the red dress Tasha gave me before she started to hate me. I took my weapons, some toilet stuff and my music. The living room was the hardest. I grabbed the pictures with me and Lissa on it. I grabbed some pictures with me, Lissa, Christian and Dimitri on it. Two happy couples I thought sarcastically. As I walked out of the apartment I took one picture of only me and Dimitri, making a snow angel in Russia. It was the only thing I allowed myself to have of our memories together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last chapter. Hope you won't hate me for the ending, and if you do... Well, I can say that I'll write a sequel ;)

**Author's Note:**

> This title is a first title. I would like you to think about a better title, because I couldn't create one. I hope you can give me one if you find one ;)
> 
> I hope you'll like this book :)


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